Of Newton,Bernouli and the side effects of their discoveries

Newton , they say, discovered gravity when an apple fell on his head.I sometimes cant help, but wonder  when my imagination goes wild …  If, instead of an apple falling, he witnessed a teeny weeny screw falling instead.. Would he have searched for the screw, or analyzed the hows and why of its falling?

newton

A lot of things today work based on gravity, Bernoulis principle, and other great discoveries made by equally great people. The Laws outlined below are some of the side effects of their application to our daily lives .(Feel free to add more to the list!)

Law of  apartments running out of water supply 

If the apartment has to run out of water, the discovery of this fact is directly proportional to

  1. Whether you’re immersed in soap
  2. Whether you’re already running terribly late and have to reach work early
  3. Whether the clock shows 2 am / 5 am

water

Thankfully, our apartment has over head tanks working on Bernoulis principle which comes to our rescue.However,  the exclamation of  “Eureka, Eureka !”(of course, I know that this was uttered by Archimedes, not Newton or Bernouli) in cases a and b above is replaced me crying out from the bathroom “Amma theres no water!! Do something!!” In case of point c , though  the “Eureka!” is replaced with a sleepy mom waking me up at 2 am with a pleading note in her voice..  “Theres no water coming out of the taps… can you please go up to the terrace and open up the emergency reserve?” That, usually, is followed by my walking up to the terrace, half asleep, cursing BWSSB (Bangalore Water Supply and Sewerage Board) and all of my neighbours, and opening the valve between our buildings’ emergency reserve and actual water tank, allowing water to find its own level

Law of Itchy Noses –

The nose starts itching (irresistibly)when your hands are full with something and you cant itch

pick your nose                                                  brain

This probably is a result of your brain deciding to “react” to the fact that your hands are full by deciding to give you an itchy nose!!(Every action has an equal and opposite reaction)

Law of earrings and mechanical repair

Whenever an earring / tool (eg: screw) falls to the ground  , it can only be found in the least imaginable/ accessible corner with least light.

The law of gravity makes the earring /screw fall down.. but which law makes it roll almost always to a place that has no light, I wonder.. Is that an “equal and opposite” reaction to the screw/earring falling down ?

This, more often than not(at least in my case).. results in the respective room(or sometimes , the whole house) getting cleaned due to a earring/screw hunt

screwed

Queue Variation Law 

If you change queues in a supermarket  , the one you’ve left will suddenly start moving faster. The speed with which it moves faster is directly proportional to the probability of you being in a hurry to finish billing quickly

queue

The best way to solve this is to NEVER go shopping alone!! That way, one person can stand in a line thats moving fastest and another can be posted in the one thats moving second fastest (or whatever  you call it). An alternative solution, but of course, is for you to develop enough patience to wait till your turn comes

Universal law of theatres

It is mandatory that people sitting at the end of the aisle arrive after the film begins

theater

Law of drinking coffee 

The probability of spilling coffee all over yourself   is directly proportional to

coffee

i.      The probability of your dress being new

ii.      The probability of it being pure, clean white

Thats all I can think for now ! Have you guys got any more to add?

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